Friday evening was my first randori round - when everyone else attacks you non stop and you are allowed to execute any technique. It came at the very end of the training, when I was already exhausted. I tend to hang and space out, not sure when to attack. And dear sensei shouts "kill!" and the others start chanting "kill" . That gets me to snap out if it, allright. Nice joke. It's even worse when it is me under attack. I'm not sure I want to tell you, sensei , that the moment I space out is actually when I forget all the moves, only instincts remain. And I am afraid of unwillingly injuring the opponent, because I won't even feel the moment I need to stop. I don't control my body as well as you think and I dread to hear the bones snap. It's all in my head, that is why I need more time to train. And you obviously think that I stop because I loose my composure under pressure. Well, whatever the reason, I will overcome this obstacle and space out less with time.